just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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