she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize