So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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