Having a random hookup so left but love u
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He shit in the fireplace
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
