What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Text me some of your sweat
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
