no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
