I heard we made out
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize