just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
