He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
