Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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