i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
