Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
