I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
my poor anus
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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