I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
