Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
