This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
