Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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