Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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