What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
