im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
