i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
