So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize