it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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