tell your sister to shave her snatch
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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