Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize