she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
