She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
