Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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