I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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