Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
