smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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