I want to stick my p in your. b.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
