I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
