I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
