I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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