Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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