hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
