wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
