I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
