i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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