Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
