are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
