Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
