bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
