can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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