Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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