I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
