I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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