Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Church boner. Awkwardddd
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
