then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
