He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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