Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
