I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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