I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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