There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
