He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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