I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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