he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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