wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
