The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
