She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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