You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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