Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
