I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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