Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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