there was a trapeze. enough said
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
we're so committed to being not committed
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
