My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
