FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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