Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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