My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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