we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
