why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
