I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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