Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
