Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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